A Brand New Day

Humanity Inspired

The Necessity of Grieving

on March 22, 2015

Much research & publication about the very natural process of GRIEVING has come about since the 1969 epic book by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross “On Death & Dying” which spelled out the 5 Stages of Grief.  These stages include:  Denial & Isolation-Anger- Bargaining- Depression- Acceptance.  There is no set order in which these stages follow during the grieving process although most commonly Denial along with Shock usually happens first with the remaining stages ebbing & flowing over months & oftentimes years.  Every person grieves at their own pace & there is no right or wrong, but generally when a person has hit the 5 year mark of the beginning of their grieving process & he or she hasn’t been able to make peace with the pain in order to move on with their life, is a matter of concern.  It is not uncommon for a person to have multiple losses & multiple grievings that have layered on top of the previous one which makes for very deep, profound emotions of sadness, anger, depression & even anxiety.

If a grieving person takes an emotional risk in confiding in another person, often the common answer is “It will go away over time.”  However, many grievers haven’t found this to be so true.  The following quote by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross sums up the “ending of the pain” quite nicely in my view:

“The reality is that you will grieve forever.  You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one;

You will learn to live with it.  You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered.

You will be whole again but you will never be the same.  Nor should you be nor would you want to be.”

This inspirational insight gives hope & comfort to those who have known the long painful journey of the grieving process.  It could also be extended to other types of losses including relationships, marriages, friendships, jobs, homes, finances, dreams, health…the list could go on depending on the unique experiences of each individual.

In closing, please know that your grieving process is natural & necessary.  No need to be ashamed of it.  It is yours alone.  Just realize that you will heal, rebuild yourself & be whole again in the future, not as the person you once were, but the person you are meant to be for the next journey of your life.

Teresa Reichart-Vernon, LSCSW

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